A True Self Explored, Part 1

Posted on Wed Sep 16th, 2020 @ 9:37am by Miss Kashian Lyrius & Miss Lushian Lyrius & Miss Amborsae Lyrius

Mission: The Past
Location: Chamber's of Lushian and Kashian, Lyrius Estate
Timeline: Early Afternoon, Sarius 22nd, 2136

Lunch was over and Kashian was heaving a large trunk up the stairs. She'd already insisted that she needed no help and she would take none, even if the trunk was so big that she could have climbed into it and curled up comfortable. It was not, however, quite as heavy as it first seemed. It was full of dresses and fine things usually reserved for visitors. Each was in some way magically possessed to fit it's wearer in a flattering manner, regardless of how well it would seem to fit on first inspection.

When she finally shoved it over the threshold of her room and Lushian helped her with the last bit to get it into the center of the room, both sat on top of it.

"Okay, so it's here," Kashian panted.

"Good, she will be happy," Lushian said with a nod.

"So you're going to let the guy who you've been watching ever since he came her put on the guest dresses because...?" Kashian said in a bit of a huff.

"She will look pretty in a dress," Lushian said simply. "Boys clothes do not fit her well."

"He's a boy, boy's wear boy's clothes," Kashian said folding her arms.

"Why?" Lushian asked tilting her head to the side.

"That's just the way it is," Kashian said and frowned.

"So... Do you want to help me or not?" Lushian said as she hoped off the chest and walked to the door.

"You know I am..." Kashian huffed as she hopped off the chest and followed.

Lushian led the way right to the visitor's room. They had been placed in guest quarters while their mother decided what was to be done. With a look to her sister, Lushian knocked on the door.

Bal-kar had been sitting by the window of the room, which was the most comfortable room he had ever seen. As he heard the knock at the door, he stood up and looked at the door. Walking over to it, he opened it, and smiled as he saw Lushian and Kashian. "Hi," he greeted, stepping aside for them to come into the room.

"You want to wear a pretty dress," Lushian said sounding quite excited. It wasn't a question, it was a statement of fact.

Bal-kar smiled at her; he had decided to not bother hiding that fact. "I do," he confirmed, looking at her. "More than anything."

"Come," Lushian said and turned to head back to her chambers.

"She made me drag that damn thing up... If you don't come with, I will kick you in the balls," Kashian said glaring for a second before following after her sister.

Bal-kar chuckled softly. "I'm coming," he said, following the two sisters. "What thing?" he asked, as he walked next to Kashian.

"Lushian said you would be happy enough to make it worth it," Kashian said angrily. "If you're not..."

"Hurry!" Lushian said and grabbing Bal-kar's hand led him into her chambers.

The sisters shared a single bed and a large bedroom. They had a small room with a large plush sofa and a couple small chairs around a glowing hearthstone in the center of the room.

Near the hearthstone was a large chest.

"Open it," Lushian said as she shoved her new friend toward it.

Bal-kar opened the chest, and looked inside. He immediately squealed with delight as he saw the dresses inside. They were so beautiful and perfect. "Are... are these for me?" he asked, looking at Lushian, a hopeful look on his face.

"You are trying them on and once we find the perfect one we will make you pretty... Then we are going for a walk," Lushian said flatly.

"I'm going to do your makeup," Kashian said folding her arms and looking out the window.

"Which do you want to try on first?" Lushian asked quickly moving over and peering into the chest.

Bal-kar looked at the girls, and then at the dresses. He may have been nearly sixty in human years, but he was barely an adult by Elf Years. He reached into the chest, and pulled out a purple dress, which felt smooth and looked shiny. "Oh wow... this is gorgeous," Bal-kar said, smiling as he held it against himself.

"Put it on," Lushian said excitedly. "I want to see how it fits on you!"

Bal-kar nodded, and without thinking, he quickly removed the clothes he was wearing, and pulled the dress on, adjusting it slightly. His entire body was devoid of hair; he had always taken great pains to keep his body hair gone. He smiled as he twirled in the dress. "It feels so amazing!" he gasped.

Kashian turned to not look at the stranger's nude body. Lushian did not.

"I knew it would look good," Lushian said with a nod.

"It's a boy in a dress... It seems weird..." Kashian said looking over Bal-kar with some concern.

Bal-kar tried to ignore the comments from Kashian, but it was difficult, feeling tears welling up in his eyes. He looked down at the ground, not wanting to say anything about the comments, but not sure what to say.

"Don't be mean," Lushian said folding her arms.

Kashian sighed. "Fine," she replied softly. Seeing the stranger shut down like that was not what she wanted to happen. "He looks pretty... I guess..."

"Yes, she does," Lushian said glaring at her sister.

Bal-kar looked at Lushian, and smiled sadly. "Thank you," he said softly, looking back at the floor.

Kashian moved to the window and sat down, facing the two of them. "Okay, I don't get it. He looks like a boy, but is really a girl?"

"Yes," Lushian replied.

"How do you know?" Kashian asked. She was, at this point, more curious than not.

"How do you know you're a girl?" Bal-kar asked. He sighed. "Sorry. Ever since I was old enough to understand anything, I always knew I was a girl," Bal-kar explained. "Inside, I feel it. I feel like a woman. I see my body, and I hate how I look. I hate my male parts, I hate the disgusting parts of me that don't match how I feel. I dressed as a woman all the time back home, I had my own home outside of the main village, so I could do my art in peace," Bal-kar explained.

"What are boy parts?" Kashian asked tilting her head.

Bal-kar looked at her, frowning. "You know... a..." he said, pointing downwards.

"He means a penis," Lushian blurted out.

"A what? That's what boy parts are?!" Kashain replied in confusion.

"What did you think they were?" Bal-kar asked, frowning in confusion. "I just..."

"Beards and shit. I didn't think it was the... I mean..." Kashian said averting her gaze.

"Boys have penises and girls have vaginas," Lushian continued, very matter of fact.

Having spent almost all of their lives within the Manor, the girls were very sheltered. Both had seen penises in the bath area, but it wasn't that odd of a thing. But no one talked about it.

"No... I just... I work hard to keep all bodily hair gone, but some things... I can't do. Yet I feel... I feel sadness when I see myself, and I feel wrong. I feel... incomplete, like I'm missing something, or like I don't belong, not looking like this anyway," Bal-kar tried to explain better.

"Sounds weird to me," Kashian replied with a shrug. She'd never heard of anything like that, or at least she couldn't remember hearing anything like that.

"Be nice," Lushian shot back.

"I am being nice, it just sounds weird is all," Kashian said folding her arms defensively.

Bal-kar nodded. "That's what other people said," he said softly, looking down as he turned away from the girls, struggling to fight back his tears.

"Lushian is weird too," Kashian said after a moment. "People say I'm weird. I even once heard a guard say mother is weird. I think people might just be weird. You're just weird in a weird way."

"I'm not weird, everyone else is blind," Lushian said and began to dig around in the chest of dresses.

Bal-kar nodded softly. "I... I guess," he agreed, looking at the dress, tears starting to slowly roll down his cheek. He felt happy in the dress, and yet he still felt like it was wrong, like he wasn't yet who he was meant to be, or who she was meant to be.

"Okay, fine, I'm sorry, now stop crying," Kashian said, noticing that Bal-kar was in tears. "Look, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I just don't get it is all..."

"No one ever did, except my mom. I just... I miss her. I... I hate feeling like this, I wish I could just be like everyone else, but I can't be," he said softly, sitting down in a chair carefully.

"Why on Indra would you want to be like anyone else?" Kashian replied folding her arms. "Everyone else is lame and stupid."

Lushian pulled out a dress and held it up to her body. She was, at this point, off in her own world.

"At least I would be called a Freak or disgusting, for wanting to be a woman," Bal-kar replied softly. "It's just... I always wanted this, but no one understood me."

"As I said, other people are stupid and lame," Kashian replied with a sigh. "I mean, do you know how many people call Lushian a freak? I mean I even once heard a visitor call mother a freak. People are dumb."

Lushian set the dress she had pulled out aside and began to undress.

"Yeah, that's for sure. I just... I always wanted to fit in, I guess. I spent years living alone just because I was different. Then your sister..." Bal-kar started, looking at her before averting his gaze. "Your sister is getting undressed."

"She does that," Kashian said, seemingly unfazed as her sister undressed. "And fitting is lame too. Anyone worth anything stands out."

Bal-kar nodded. "I just... never thought I was worth anything," he commented.

It was at this point that a now quite naked Lushian walked over to Bal-kar and grabbing both of the side of his head, she forced him to look at her. Then she slammed her forehead into Bel'Kar's with enough force to knock herself out.

"Oh Aura damn it!" Kashian yelped rushing to catch her sister as she fell.

Bal-kar moaned softly, a mix of pain and shock running through him. "What... what the fates..." he asked, a little groggy. "Why..." he asked, feeling very dizzy, and falling to the floor next to Lushian.

"Oh, who knows," Kashian said checking to make sure Lushian hadn't hurt herself too badly. "She does things, sometimes they make sense, sometimes they don't."

Bal-kar groaned as he looked up at Kashian, trying to sit up, but falling back down. "That... hurt..."

"It looked like it didn't," Kashian said as she put on hand on her sister's forehead and focused to see if she'd hurt herself. Lushian's mind was impenetrable, but she could at least feel if there was any damage. There did not seem to be. "Do you feel different or anything?"

"I feel... a little strange..." Bal-kar replied, trying to figure out why he felt so light headed.

"Great, don't tell me Lushian gave you the crazies too," Kashian said grabbing her sister under the arms and heaving her toward the bed. It took effort as they were both the same size and unconscious as she was, Lushian was like a sack of winter wheat.

Bal-kar looked at her, before feeling his throat getting warm. He coughed, trying to get rid of the scratchy feeling in his throat, and moaned as it got more intense. He sat up, trying to reach out for anything, before falling backwards again. He coughed once, and looked at Kashian weakly. "What... what happened?" he asked, not noticing that his voice was no longer masculine, but very feminine.

"Your voice... sounds... different," Kashian said giving the other a strange look as she continued to try and pull her sister to the bed.

"My... my voice? What? What's happened? I sound... like a girl..." Bal-kar said, a strange smile creeping onto his face. "She... she changed my voice for me?"

Kashian looked from her unconscious sister to Bal-kar. "I guess so... I have no clue how..."

Bal-kar looked at Lushian as he sat up. "First she saves me, and now she gives me this amazing gift. I... I owe her so much," Bal-kar said happily.

"You sound weird now," Kashian said making a face as she heaved Lushian onto the bed and began to drag her up so she was fully on the bed. "I don't know. Less fake..."

"I wish she could have helped change my whole body, but if Lushian changed my voice, then maybe someone can change my body so I am who I was meant to be?" Bal-kar asked. "Maybe I should think of a new name whilst I'm at it."

"If anyone could do it, it would be grandfather," Kashian replied putting a pillow under her sister's head and pulling a blanket over her. "He knows more about magic like that. He used to know about Lushian..."

"What do you mean?" Bal-kar asked. "Used to know?"

"We haven't seen him in awhile," Kashian replied looking away sadly. She, like everyone else, had been told nothing by her mother about her grandfather's absence. She knew something was going on, but she had no clue what.

Bal-kar looked at her. "I'm sorry," he said softly, still marvelling at his new voice. "I... I can understand how that feels. I... I lost everyone I ever cared about," he said sadly.

"Mother knows something, but she doesn't have much time for us anymore," Kashian said stroking her sisters face before climbing off the bed and tossing the dress Lushian had gotten out back in the chest.

Still wearing the dress he had put on, Bal-kar looked at her. "Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked, sitting on the bed and looking at Lushian. "I owe Lushian so much," he said softly.

"I don't know," Kashian said with a heavy sigh as she walked over to the window seat and flopped down onto it. SHe looked from her sleeping sister to Bal-kar. "She seems to think we need you around, and that's good enough for me."

"I never thought I'd be needed, ever," Bal-kar said, stroking Lushian's hair and head gently. "I always wanted to be needed."